IS MY CHILD GOING TO BE HOMOSEXUAL?
Posted by adminAs was pointed out earlier, it is perfectly normal for young people to go through a homosexual phase during their sexual development. This should not be seen as a prelude to a lifetime’s homosexuality but as a safe way of discovering about one’s own sex.
The stages differ in boys and girls, so let us look at them both briefly. Girls go through this stage in their pre-pubertal stage (thirteen to sixteen). Girls will play dressing-up games, which include undressing and perhaps smacking each other’s bottoms; kissing ‘like a boy’; putting a finger in a friend’s vagina; or playing with each other’s breasts. Rarely though, do girls teach others to masturbate.
Boys talk a lot about sex; have competitions as to who can ejaculate first; have mutual masturbation sessions, compare penis sizes; count hairs and so on. Boys of this age usually do all these things with boys of their own age and as long as this happens all is well. When older boys or men are involved there are legal and personal problems and such contacts should be vigorously discouraged.
Many girls at this stage, and later, have a crush on older girls or school teachers. Such homosexual crushes are rarely overtly sexual in content (except perhaps in the girl’s fantasies). They usually fulfil an unconscious need the girl has to identify with a woman she sees as likeable or successful in a quite non-sexual way.
All this means that it would be harmful and pointless to punish a child found enjoying homosexual experiments within these age bounds. Two girls aged sixteen found mutually masturbating for example, should be a cause for concern though because, unless it is a one-off game, it could well mean that one or both will have problems in relating to men.
The problem often starts when teenagers declare to their parents that they think they are homosexual. Over 80 per cent of parents are upset and understandably find it difficult to know what to say other than to be negative. The best way to handle this problem is for the parents and the child to discuss it fully and then to get professional help if there is still concern. The best place to start off is probably with the family doctor or Relate Marriage Guidance counsellor locally. Either of these will hopefully provide a relatively unbiased approach to the subject. By going straight to the many homosexual organisations a young person runs the risk of being welcomed with open arms and their homosexuality confirmed and celebrated. We feel this is bad for the young person, who might well just be going through a temporary phase in his or her development and because it might preclude or hinder heterosexual development in the future. Only if it is clear that the young person seems convinced of and is happy with his sexual orientation does it makes sense to contact a homosexual group so that he or she can start off his or her sexual life prepared for the problems and able to meet like-minded people.
Until homosexuality becomes totally acceptable (which is still a long way off), this sort of situation will always be a terrible dilemma for the average parent.
*167\164\2*
Add A Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.