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You’re right that there are changes that come with aging. Changes in your skin, your hair, even your eyes, and other general mechanical deterioration are a fact of life over time no matter what we do. Research shows, however, that memory, intelligence, mobility, even such things as high blood pressure and circulatory changes are affected by the oldest principle in the world. Use it or lose it seems to be correct for many aspects of life and aging, and that is certainly true for sex. I think we’ll find, if we have the courage to study it, if we have the sensitivity to the needs of our older population to care, that the neurochemical changes that accompany sex are vital for staying healthy. Aging is strongly related to changes in brain chemistry, and I suspect that such changes could in turn be affected by sexual activity. It is not enough just to condone sex in aging, it must be advocated. In studying cultures where sex is not only allowed but expected of their aging populations, scientists have written that continuing to be sexual later into life is one of the major components of longevity.
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I don’t know. Sometimes it’s not me or her that doesn’t feel sexy. It’s more like “it,” the environment, just doesn’t seem right.
HUSBAND
Albert Krueger and David Sobel write that “there are ions in the’ air around us all the time, but changes in their concentration, or in, the ratio of positively to negatively charged molecules, can have marked biological effects on plants and animals.” I have stressed the fact that super marital sex depends on viewing sexual response as a system, an interactional flow between partners within their environment. We are living in an ocean of air, breathing at least ten thousand liters of air every twenty-four hours. To believe that this does not affect our health and therefore our sexual response is to ignore the fact that how we feel affects whatever we do.
That fresh, invigorating smell and feeling you sense after a rainstorm relates to the negative air ions that occur. It is invigorating because the ratio of positive to negative air ions has been distorted in our cement and steel world, and the rain hitting cement or stone restores a temporary healthy balance. Tropical islands and ocean-front areas are so popular because they usually have a natural healthy ion ratio.
Purchasing an air ionizer may improve your overall feeling in your private place. Inhalation of negative air ions actually alters our brain chemistry, possibly relating to secretion of pleasurable chemicals called endorphins. The increase in respiration during sex can result in either more “bad” air or more “good” air going in. For your own sex clinic, I suggest you place a tested, high-quality air ionizer in your room. Be careful. There are many fraudulent claims about these ionizers. Buy from a trusted dealer. Opening a window and letting in some fresh air for sex can help, too.
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Super Marital Sex Rule: The solution to marital problems and strategies for super marital sex are found within each marriage, nol from a prescribed set of steps, neighbor or relative advice, magazine or talk-show “easy steps” to a better marriage. Looking for techniques is much less effective than learning a new way and place for looking.
I saw it on Phil Donahue. I got the book, left it by her cup of coffee.
How direct could I be? It was right there in front of her. She never
mentioned it once. What was I supposed to do, just tell her what I
thought?
HUSBAND
When we are maritally bankrupt, we may fall into the hands of, receivers. An entire industry is thriving that is made up of marital therapy, marital seminars, marital encounters, marital self-help books, sex manuals, talk shows, and even video- and audiotapes teaching sex in marriage. In fact, most therapists themselves are! struggling in marriage or with divorce, with their own relationship!
problems. At the very least, they are attempting to help marriages with no real healthy model.
The model of wellness in America is based on individuals. Those persons we see as models of enlightenment, as gurus and teachers of health, are typically unmarried or have been unable to maintain one marriage. Sex manuals have typically been separate from marriage manuals, suggesting ways to save and fix marriages. Until this book, we have not had a model of the healthy marriage beyond the cliche of good communications, good sex, tolerance, and hard work. There have been ideas for what to do, but few if any models for how to be. I suggest it is time we looked at the possibility of super, hardy marriages.
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