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I don’t know. Sometimes it’s not me or her that doesn’t feel sexy. It’s more like “it,” the environment, just doesn’t seem right.
HUSBAND
Albert Krueger and David Sobel write that “there are ions in the’ air around us all the time, but changes in their concentration, or in, the ratio of positively to negatively charged molecules, can have marked biological effects on plants and animals.” I have stressed the fact that super marital sex depends on viewing sexual response as a system, an interactional flow between partners within their environment. We are living in an ocean of air, breathing at least ten thousand liters of air every twenty-four hours. To believe that this does not affect our health and therefore our sexual response is to ignore the fact that how we feel affects whatever we do.
That fresh, invigorating smell and feeling you sense after a rainstorm relates to the negative air ions that occur. It is invigorating because the ratio of positive to negative air ions has been distorted in our cement and steel world, and the rain hitting cement or stone restores a temporary healthy balance. Tropical islands and ocean-front areas are so popular because they usually have a natural healthy ion ratio.
Purchasing an air ionizer may improve your overall feeling in your private place. Inhalation of negative air ions actually alters our brain chemistry, possibly relating to secretion of pleasurable chemicals called endorphins. The increase in respiration during sex can result in either more “bad” air or more “good” air going in. For your own sex clinic, I suggest you place a tested, high-quality air ionizer in your room. Be careful. There are many fraudulent claims about these ionizers. Buy from a trusted dealer. Opening a window and letting in some fresh air for sex can help, too.
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Super Marital Sex Rule: The solution to marital problems and strategies for super marital sex are found within each marriage, nol from a prescribed set of steps, neighbor or relative advice, magazine or talk-show “easy steps” to a better marriage. Looking for techniques is much less effective than learning a new way and place for looking.
I saw it on Phil Donahue. I got the book, left it by her cup of coffee.
How direct could I be? It was right there in front of her. She never
mentioned it once. What was I supposed to do, just tell her what I
thought?
HUSBAND
When we are maritally bankrupt, we may fall into the hands of, receivers. An entire industry is thriving that is made up of marital therapy, marital seminars, marital encounters, marital self-help books, sex manuals, talk shows, and even video- and audiotapes teaching sex in marriage. In fact, most therapists themselves are! struggling in marriage or with divorce, with their own relationship!
problems. At the very least, they are attempting to help marriages with no real healthy model.
The model of wellness in America is based on individuals. Those persons we see as models of enlightenment, as gurus and teachers of health, are typically unmarried or have been unable to maintain one marriage. Sex manuals have typically been separate from marriage manuals, suggesting ways to save and fix marriages. Until this book, we have not had a model of the healthy marriage beyond the cliche of good communications, good sex, tolerance, and hard work. There have been ideas for what to do, but few if any models for how to be. I suggest it is time we looked at the possibility of super, hardy marriages.
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The pathological change in Paget’s disease is that this resorption of bone takes place at an increased rate. To counteract this the bone that is laid down is different in its structure.
This condition may produce no symptoms and it may only be discovered by an observant doctor while checking the patient for some other condition, or it may show on X-ray.
Sometimes the bony changes produce pain. This is usually of a dull, aching type. In some cases it may be severe. Because of the rich blood supply to the bone the over-lying skin feels warm to touch.
The softened bones are prone to break following even a simple fall. A few patients with Paget’s disease, about five per cent, may develop a tumor in the affected bone.
Treatment until recently has been unsatisfactory. However, in recent years a new chemical has been introduced which has been of benefit.
This is calcitonin, a hormone produced in the thyroid gland in man and certain other animals.
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Many people are obsessed with their bowel function.
Constipation is not a disease, it is a symptom. It means delay in the passage of faeces through the bowel.
It is accepted by most people that they should empty their bowel once each day. Yet the freqency and amount will depend on many factors.
The normal transit time of food taken by mouth through the bowel is about 72 hours. The bowel motion should be soft, formed and easy to pass. If it is, then the person is not constipated, even if the bowel is only emptied every second or third day.
The highly refined diet of the western world has had most of the roughage or indigestible fibre removed.
This bulk was thought to be unnecessary. We now believe that removing this natural bulk from the diet has led to an increase in certain diseases including appendicitis, diverticulitis, haemorrhoids and cancer of the bowel.
Diets low in bulk cause an increase in the muscular movements of the bowel which are concerned with mixing the contents, but a decrease in those movements which move them on. Low residue diets lead to an increase in the pressure inside the bowel.
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Many boys around puberty may develop swelling and pain in one or both breasts.
This is believed due to an upsurge of hormones which occurs with the onset of puberty. Both sexes produce male and female hormones and, at times, there may be a temporary dominance of the hormone of the opposite sex.
The soreness usually lasts only a week or two but the hard swelling may persist for a couple of months.
Babies may also suffer from swollen breasts shortly after birth and some secretion, called “witches milk”, may even be expressed.
This swelling is probably due to the mother’s hormones entering the baby’s circulation. The swelling subsides within a few weeks.
Swelling of the male breast at other ages may have a number of causes, but should always be investigated.
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Many people talk and think about cancer as if it is a single disease entity. In fact, there are over a hundred different types of cancer. They do share certain features which allow us to group them under the one word ‘cancer’. However, there are many very important differences between them — they look different, start in different parts of the body, spread differently, react to different treatments, and so on.
To understand what cancer is, and why there are so many different types, we need to know something about the body’s normal structure and function. We all know that our bodies are made up of many distinctly different parts. Our heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, brain, muscles, skin, etc all look quite different and all have completely different jobs to do to keep our bodies working.
Just as they all look quite different to the naked eye, so specimens from any of these looked at through the microscope can easily be distinguished from one another. Only a very small specimen is needed because the body is made up of millions and millions of very tiny units called cells. There are about 100,000 cells in a specimen 1mm across. The pathologist looking down the microscope can identify a specimen by assessing the types of cells in it and the way in which they are arranged. Cells which have different functions look completely different.
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When you decide you want to stop taking HRT, ask your doctor about reducing the dosage gradually, as this will prevent a return of short-term symptoms, like hot flushes. A possible routine might be: If you are taking HRT as tablets, change to a lower dose tablet for a few weeks, then take one every alternate day for a few weeks, then just once or twice a week for two weeks, then stop altogether. If you are using a patch, change to a lower dose patch for a few weeks, then leave 1-2 days between changing patches without using one at all, then leave 3-4 days between patches, then, after you have been wearing a patch for only half the time, you should be able to stop.
Implants are more difficult to cut down on, so talk to your doctor about this. He may suggest that when your current implant comes to an end you try tablets or patches that are easier to cut down.
During this ‘weaning off’ process, some symptoms may return, but they will probably not be frequent or severe. If they are, you will have to decide whether to live with the symptoms or go back to full-time HRT. Plushes and night sweats are usually worse in hot weather or when you are under stress, so it is easier to stop taking HRT when the weather is cooler and when you are feeling calm and in control of your life.
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Although a safer procedure than, for example, removal of the appendix, hysterectomy is not without risk. For every 2000 abdominal hysterectomies performed, between one and four women die within a month of surgery (the variation in figures depends on which study is consulted). Death rates may be less for vaginal and laparoscopically assisted hysterectomies.
In addition, reports suggest that between 25 and 50% of all women who have a hysterectomy encounter one or more complications. In the case of abdominal hysterectomy, 1-3% of women experience a major complication such as significant post-operative bleeding, the formation of a blood clot in the lungs, or damage to the ureter, the bowel or the bladder, all of which may require further surgery. Vaginal prolapse and sexual problems may also occur with any type of hysterectomy because there is reduced support for the upper part of the vagina from other pelvic structures. To minimise this risk, the ligaments supporting the bladder, bowel and vagina are stitched together after the uterus is removed.
Other complications include infections of the surgical wound and urinary tract, weight gain, abdominal or back pain, constipation, fatigue and frequent urination. Some of these, for example urinary tract infections, usually clear quickly provided antibiotic therapy is administered promptly. In some women, however, they become a persistent source of unsettling symptoms requiring treatment. For Rita, the biggest surprise following her hysterectomy was the kilos she suddenly gained. An enthusiast for keeping in shape, she couldn’t understand why she had put on weight, given that she was just as careful about what she ate after her hysterectomy as before. ‘My doctor thought it might have something to do with changes in my sex hormones, but when I asked about hormone replacement therapy he said this might cause even more weight gain/ Rita embarked on a vigorous schedule of physical activity which, at last report, had helped her weight to plateau. She is not alone in experiencing this complication of hysterectomy. Some studies report that weight problems occur in nearly a quarter of women after the operation. It seems that women who want to maintain their weight at pre-hysterectomy levels need to be prepared to reduce their calorie intake somewhat in the two to six weeks after surgery in line with their reduced activity levels.
Psychological disturbances have been widely reported in women who have had hysterectomies, with depression, mood change, anxiety and irritability often cited. Other studies have, however, raised the possibility that it is not hysterectomy itself that triggers these disturbances. Rather, they may reflect psychological states which developed during the period of stress and ill-health preceding the operation.
For pre-menopausal women, hysterectomy may lead to an early menopause and distressing menopausal symptoms such as hot flushes and vaginal dryness if the ovaries are removed along with the uterus. This may also occur in women whose ovaries are saved, but less frequently, particularly if the surgeon who does the operation is skilful and experienced. An uncertain factor in all this is the state of the ovaries before surgery. It may be that women who resort to hysterectomy have a higher incidence of problems with their ovaries than women who do not, and that even if they were able to avoid surgery, their ovaries might not function particularly well. What can now be said with some certainty is that women who have had a hysterectomy are much more likely than average to embark on hormone therapy. The Melbourne Women’s Midlife Health Project, which questioned 2000 randomly selected women aged forty-five to fifty-five years, found that half the women who had both ovaries removed at the time of hysterectomy were on hormone therapy, as were a third who had a hysterectomy but retained their ovaries. In contrast about one in six women who had not had a hysterectomy was on hormone therapy. In a comparable group of US women, the rate was about the same in the surgical menopause group and significantly lower in the natural menopause group. Rates seem to vary widely across Western Europe, but there is not enough information to enable a valid comparison.
Other long-term complications, which stem in part from the early menopause that sometimes occurs after hysterectomy, are an increased risk of heart disease and of the bone thinning disorder, osteoporosis. In order to reduce these risks, as well as to resolve menopausal symptoms, hormone therapy containing oestrogen is often prescribed after a hysterectomy.
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Understanding the biological clock is important for people who have sleep problems. If we wake up every morning at the same time and sleep at about the same time every night, we are helping to keep the biological clock accurate. If we sometimes read, watch television, or have wild parties late into the night, this irregular life style disturbs the accuracy of the biological clock, so that when we want to sleep we may not feel sleepy. By keeping irregular hours of sleeping and waking, we cause ourselves to experience a mini jet lag all the time. To help the biological clock work in our favour, we should wake up at the same time each day. We know that under free running experimental conditions, without any outside time cue, our natural biological clock is about 25 hours. Were we to let nature take its course, we would sleep about one hour late each day. After a few days, we would be sleeping a few hours later than our normal sleep time. To reset the biological clock to 24 hours, we must ensure that we wake at the same hour each day. Although we think we have little control over sleeping, we do have full control over waking up. Waking up at the same time each morning is now one of the most important disciplines recommended by most sleep experts for treating insomnia.
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We naturally think of being quite still while we are relaxing. This is so for the early stages. However, we have now mastered the technique. We are familiar with the relaxed feeling of the mind, and we have learned to induce it quite easily and quickly while sitting down. We have now reached the stage when we can practise the exercises while we are actually doing things.
The first step in this direction is a very simple one. As we relax, we allow our eyes to open a little, and to close again very slowly. We do this in time with our breathing. As we breathe in our eyes open, then they close again as we breathe out. All the time we maintain the deep relaxation of our mind. At first we are content to have our eyes open just a little. As we become more experienced, they can open wider and wider.
The next stage is to do our exercises as we walk slowly down the street. We feel the relaxation of our mind. We are conscious of the ease and rhythm of our body as we move; and all the time we are aware of the relaxation of the muscles of our face and the calm of our mind.
In a similar way the housewife can practise while doing rhythmical domestic tasks such as polishing or using the vacuum cleaner on the floor. By this means the calm and ease of mind induced by the exercises is kept with us in all the tasks of our everyday life.
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